Funny Christmas Quotes

HandyWoman · Forum Member Joined: 17 Dec 2007 Posts: 54

What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic.
Anonymous

Christmas is a time when everybody wants his past forgotten and his present remembered. What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.
Phyllis Diller

The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn't for any religious reasons. They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin.
Jay Leno

Why is Christmas just like a day at the office? You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.
Anonymous

Christmas is a race to see which gives out first - your money or your feet.
Anonymous

I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying, toys not included.
Bernard Manning

Anyone who believes that men are the equal of women has never seen a man trying to wrap a Christmas present.
Anonymous

There's nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child.
Erma Bombeck

jettlee1 · Forum Member Joined: 05 May 2010 Posts: 12

i like this.
it is so funny.

musicworld1 · Forum Member Joined: 16 Jun 2010 Posts: 26

"Once again we find ourselves enmeshed in the Holiday Season, that very special time of year when we join with our loved ones in sharing centuries-old traditions such as trying to find a parking space at the mall. We traditionally do this in my family by driving around the parking lot until we see a shopper emerge from the mall, then we follow her, in very much the same spirit as the Three Wise Men, who 2,000 years ago followed a star, week after week, until it led them to a parking space."